


Remus' Reason

by FaithySummers



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bonding, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Personal Growth, Teaching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:02:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23282209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaithySummers/pseuds/FaithySummers
Summary: What if Remus made a different choice on the train? What if he talked to Harry and tried to bond? How would that change things?
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Harry Potter/Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Remus Lupin & Harry Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1 - Whiskey Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my faithful readers,  
> This story was actually a couple one shots that I wrote a couple of years ago that I'm now realizing actually go together and would make a good fleshed out story.  
> Thank you to JK for allowing us to play in her sandbox.  
> I hope you enjoy.

**Remus' Reason**

**Chapter 1 - Whiskey Moon**

Remus watched the moon out his dusty window. Last night had been the full moon, mocking, and grave. Normally he spent the night with his friends, it was their night of mischief and fun. However, there were no friends last night, for the first time in years he had been alone. Two friends were dead and one was a traitor that now sat in Azkaban. 

The moon was bright against the dark inky sky. It called to him as the bottle of whiskey on the table did. He hated that his life came down to that. He had done so well with his friends throughout the years. He reached over, grabbing the bottle to take a swig, but stopping before he did.

"You don't control me," he said softly, he grew louder, "you don't control me!" He wasn't sure if he was speaking to the bottle or the moon, either one would be hard to beat. He brought the bottle up to smash it against the window frame, but the etched glass caught the glint of the moonlight. They seemed to say, "Are you sure?"

Remus slid down the wall to the floor, his tears falling silently down his face. He wanted his friends back! He couldn't even take on Harry, because the wizarding world wouldn't allow it. Dumbledore had already sent him off to his Aunt's, to the woman and her husband who hated magic.

Remus felt he couldn't do anything right anymore, and so he took a swig of the whiskey, trying to drown his sorrows. He grabbed the discarded picture book and looked through his pictures. There were so many Marauder memories in that book. So many memories of his friends. 

The women of the group were gone too. Lily had gone with James, her red hair, emerald eyes, extreme intelligence gone forever. Then there was Marlene Mackinnon, Sirius' girlfriend, who was supposed to be his fiance. She had been killed the day that was supposed to be a date for them, a special date, the big one where Sirius had been planning to propose to her. They never had that last date.

That had really screwed Sirius up. Maybe that was why he did what he did. 

He was so angry at Sirius and wanted some answers. However, there had been no trial, so no answers and no closure. Remus swigged more of the whiskey, the burning sensation searing his throat comfortingly, but it did nothing to stop the tears.

So many memories. There were pictures from their first truth or dare game, which had ended in 3 very drunk animagi running around. The many numerous pranks, the making of the map, graduation, jobs, Lily and James's pregnancy announcement, the subsequent months, Harry's birth, babysitting nights, Harry's birthday. 

The memories were all he had left now. He couldn't go see Harry, he didn't have his friends, his life held nothing of importance. His world had come crashing down around him all in one night and it hurt. He had been trying to drown in his sorrows for weeks. 

Maybe he thought if he drank enough he could avoid the full moon, the crippling hurt, and anxiety, the uncontrollable crying. He had not been without his friends since the early years of Hogwarts. He had not known how to transform on his own, how to handle that. 

He thought it was unfair that he had to handle that sudden change. He had contemplated suicide and had even been on suicide watch at first. One of the remaining order members had been with him at all times at the start. Now it had dwindled to just checking on him daily. Remus wasn't sure which had been worse, the hovering, or the loneliness.

Remus's only hope now was that someday he would get to see Harry again. That he would get to pass on all the Marauders stories and this book of pictures and explain each one. It would push Remus through the upcoming years and the grief. Maybe someday he would see Harry graduate and start a family of his own. 

Remus pushed himself up from where he sat. He walked over to the windows and one by one began to shut the drapes. He then moved from there to the liquor cabinet and carried all of the booze over to the sink. He took each bottle and dumped it down the drain, throwing each bottle in the trash. 

He had found a reason for living, for pushing on. He would not let James and Lily down. He would watch over Harry from a distance and when he got the chance he would get to know Harry, watch over him, and help him in whatever way he could. He would not let booze or the moon control him any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think of the first chapter? I can't wait to flesh out this story.  
> Leave me a comment below, hit that kudos button, and don't forget to follow so you don't miss any upcoming chapters or stories from me.  
> As always my faithful readers,  
> With Love,  
> Faithy 💜


	2. Chapter 2 - When I See You Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my faithful readers,  
> I finally finished editing this chapter so I could get it up for all of you. I want to get out as many chapters and stories as I can during this Covid-19 crisis. I know reading helps many people and writing has been helping me a lot.   
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Remus' Reason**

**Chapter 2 - When I See You Again**

He had just made himself comfortable in his old train cabin with the old maroon worn seats just the way he remembered them. His sharp eyes caught a few of the old carvings along the bottom of the window seal. The memories flooded through him of all of his time spent in this train cabin through his years of schooling. It was here he had met the marauders at the shy age of 11. 

He was shocked out of his reminiscing when the compartment door opened. He hid his face behind his large coat to hide his tears, but what he saw from the corner of his eye stopped his tears in their tracks. It couldn't be–could it? There is no way he would get that lucky, but it was James' signature unruly hair. There was only one person alive that had that hair, baby Potter. 

He watched and listened as the trio talked and nearly gasped in happiness at hearing the name of the black-haired boy. Harry, they had said, his Harry, his cub, he had been right. James would be proud that his son had found such amazing friends, though the subject they discussed crushed his heart. His other ex-best friend Sirius Black. The traitor who had betrayed them all and killed so many innocent people. 

How he wished Harry didn't have to worry about Sirius. He should have had the chance to board this train after saying goodbye to his parents. They always dreamed of the day they would see Harry off on his first train ride, but alas, fairy tales only existed in books. Sirius had trashed all of their hopes and dreams with that one failed secret. 

He faked waking up as the train sped along so as not to startle the children. He didn't, however, have to fake his surprised look. For the eyes he hadn't seen in 12 years, Lily's eyes, stared back at him from James' face. Harry was a bit scrawny for his age, but so had James. The number of times they had teased him had ended all of them up in the butt end of a prank. 

He watched the trio send looks at each other, silent messages flowing between them. Remus remembered when he and his friends had shared their own silent communications. With friends that good you didn't need words–you understood clearly with just a look. That simple gesture brought a smile to Remus' face. 

"It's alright, I won't tell anyone about your conversation. I have a stake in that story after all. You see, I knew all the characters quite well. James, Sirius, and Peter were my best friends, well they were more like brothers. We did everything together from the moment we met on this very same train, in this very same compartment. It became our compartment after that. I bet if you look you can still find our old carvings in here.

"Lily, sweet Lily was a dear friend as well, though that took several years. She wasn't impressed with our little group in the least. You see it started with James not liking Lily's best friend. His name was Severus Snape and he and your father were always at each other's throats. It didn't help that your father tried so hard to impress her only for it to repeatedly fail. It annoyed her quite a lot as many of these attempts were quite embarrassing." 

"You knew my parents?" Harry asked cutting him off. There was curiosity and joy radiating in Harry's eyes. Remus wondered if Petunia ever spoke of her sister.

"Yes, I did. I feel awful that you never got the chance to know them. They loved you so very much Harry. You were their pride and joy. I remember when James and Lily told our group they were going to have you. They were ecstatic. James was going absolutely nuts because you were going to be a boy. He didn't know this officially mind you, but he just knew and you were going to be his little Quidditch star." He replied reminiscing.

"My dad wanted me to play Quidditch? I do play as a seeker on the Gryffindor team. I earned my spot in my first year when I caught Neville's rememberall that Draco Malfoy had stolen and threw. I'm the youngest player in a century from what I am told." Harry replied with a proud light in his eyes and voice.

"Yes, James had all sorts of dreams for you. He never imagined you would be the youngest seeker in a century though. He would have been so proud of you. Lily would have been too. You even got a broom for your first birthday. You would chase the cat around while flying it and cause all sorts of ruckus." He replied to the ecstatic boy. Harry smiled brightly at Remus then his friends. It seemed Harry had found his own group of Marauders and Remus could not be prouder. He would find out soon after he arrived that they had been nicknamed the golden trio. "If you come to my room tomorrow, all of you, after school. I'll tell you about what happened and about your parents." Harry looked surprised. 

"My friends can come too?" Remus was astonished at Harry's words. What had gone on that he would need to ask such a question? 

"Of course they can. Friendships are very important. I'll explain more tomorrow and it will make more sense. Besides, I know everything will get back to your friends the same way it would have between our friend group, the marauders." Harry nodded happily and they spent the rest of the train ride, until the dementors appeared, talking school and getting to know one another overeating on some ordered candy. Remus felt his heart truly begin to heal for the first time in 12 years. 

"I'll protect him, James, I promise." That was a promise Remus intended to keep. If only he knew how hard that vow would be to keep in the coming years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think of their first meeting? I know I didn't put in the Dementor interaction because I don't think it needed it, but if you guys think differently I can go back and edit and flesh that out.   
> Leave me a comment below, hit that kudos button, and don't forget to follow so you don't miss any upcoming chapters or stories from me.   
> As always my faithful readers,  
> With love,  
> Faithy💜


End file.
